Sam and Martha-Ann Talk It Over

“The liberal media is after my ass once again, Martha. They can’t even understand the simple explanations I gave to the Wall Street Journal. These assholes have it ass-backwards; they are braying like jackasses in the wilderness and the fog of democrat donkey-land. Lord, if I didn’t have my faith to sustain me. . . .”

“Listen to me: you and Clarence have been playing fast and loose with Roberts and the media. Putting the blame for the flags on me I can accept. But then saying you wanted them taken down but couldn’t because of my ‘property rights’. . . sweet Jesus, Sam, what were you thinking? Yes, I bought the Virginia house with inherited money, but you are half-owner because we were dumb enough to get married. I’ve kept a private life since you got appointed to the Court. I’ve also kept the family together, as you know.

“But you looked like a complete jerk for trying to throw me under the bus.”

“My dear, I was merely trying to explain that the law gives me no power to impinge on your—my spouse’s―behavior, and that of course limits my power to apologize. I recognize that your feelings may have been hurt, but we shall stand together on this, I hope. The main issue was my total rejection of the argument to recuse myself, fully in accordance with the Court’s adopted code of ethics. Justice Roberts will stand by me, I’m sure.”

“You’ve been talking like Elon Musk, like nobody can touch you. How about a little humility for a change? I’ve seen how angry you get at home.”

“I’m angry because the world is turning against all my values. Roberts and my conservative colleagues will stand by me. The Court’s ethics code has no enforcement mechanism, and besides it says that justices are obligated not to recuse themselves. Raskin’s proposal about the due process clause will never fly with this Court. The furor about the gifts and my ties to the wealthy is just more political assassination, as I noted in my first paragraph.

“And Biden will do nothing. Even the partisan Politico knows this: ‘He has essentially stood idly by while the court has upended key aspects of American life—from abortion to affirmative action—and angered huge swaths of the country, likely contributing to the widespread national discontent that threatens his reelection.’”

“We must stick by our Christian values, Sam. I’ll never regret flying the ‘Appeal to Heaven’ flag and I know we both believe in its moral code. Onward Christian soldiers. Now that Trump has been crucified in that corrupt New York court, I will join with you in the battle.”

Update: For the realities behind these events, please read this: