The Worm Turns

To no one’s great surprise, Kim Jong Un recently denounced U.S. actions in Iran, calling them acts of state-sponsored terrorism and aggression.

Eight years earlier at their first meeting, it was all happy hokum, or so Trump thought. He actually believed Kim was ready to give up his nukes. My observations on this are now published in Trumpworld Begins, which I hope you will buy here (US) or here (Mexico).

Trump in Singapore 
6/09/2018

This next week it will presumably happen: Trump will either walk out of the meeting at some point (my prediction) or get stroked and duped by Kim. A third possibility, I guess, is that they will agree to disagree. The Nobel Prize will be safe.

There has been no real planning or preparation for the meeting: “After two months on the job, Trump’s new national security adviser [John Bolton] has not called a single Cabinet-level National Security Council meeting on North Korea.” The president remarked: “I think I’m very well prepared. I don’t think I have to prepare very much. It’s about attitude, it’s about willingness to get things done, but I think I’ve been preparing for this summit for a long time, as has the other side.”

Here’s a version of what will happen.

Trump: (after the opening pleasantries) I know it won’t be easy to give up the nukes, Mr. Leader, but if you don’t we’ll have to recall Dennis Rodman. If you give ‘em up, you can keep him.

Kim: That’s a generous offer, Mr. President. You want some fish balls before we start?

Trump: I never eat foreign food without a food taster. Mueller and the Russians know this.

Kim: Now, Mr. Trump, hear my position. We will decommission our nukes in twenty years if you agree to stop the ridiculous sanctions and put four McDonalds in Pyongyang. A Citibank branch would help too.

Trump: How does ten years sound? . . . Maybe with a little cash up front?

Kim: No bueno, Don. You be lookin’ for an ironclad winner-take-all agreement like you wanted Iran to sign? Or a Libya-type deal? Fuggedaboutit.

Trump: Well, let’s see what happens. We’ll take Iran off the table and start fresh. I can arrange big loans through our Russian connections to keep you in power forever.

Kim: I can do that too.

Trump: How about getting our troops out of South Korea?

Kim: I can do that too.

Trump: Are the photographers ready yet? How about some golf in the demilitarized zone for tomorrow?

Kim: Now you talkin’. My king’s taster just died so let’s go eat. You’ll love it: they’re playing Sonny Rollins in the dining room.